I am now in Gulu. While at the Acholli Inn I was introduced to my host, Dr. David. He is a doctor and a teacher at Gulu university. One thing that was interesting was that he reached out to hold my hand while showing me around the area. It was interesting to have my cultural boundaries tested. In all my travels, I have rode atop dangerous buses with the cargo, slept in ancient temples, ate snakes, alligators, beating hearts, escaped robbers, awoke in clinics. But somehow of all things,.. gentle hand holding sounds my taboo alarms? I would like to think of myself as able to be comfortable and find my place in many cultures. It is infact a large part of my identity to be able to blend and navigate various cultures. So here I am holding hands with a respected Doctor reducing myself to the lowest level of intercultural competence. "what will others think", "what is communicated by this hand holding", "what is the most masculine way to hold hands", "should I use a tight grip, weak grip, interlocking fingers"., what is the length of time I should be holding hands. These are the ideas going through my head. It is so silly to be so pressed with something so simple. What a funny taboo.
Did men in the USA hold hands or were they at least more comfortable with physical contact before homosexuality came out of the cultural closet? Did the debate regarding gays force all male to male contact to become taboo in US society? Is this why guys get wasted to the "i love you man" state?, in order to reaffirm bonds that are taboo in hetro culture?
I will embrace hand holding here. To challenge myself and my intercultural abilities. It is nice to have a challenge, especially something so simple and friendly.
Alex, thanks for holding hands across the world as you lead us through your adventure. Know that you're in my prayers. By the way, rarely have the opportunity to physically hold your hand because you're holding Jessie's. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. Pretty interesting huh? What holding another's hand can conjure. Good on you to embrace this very touching and tender of actions. When I was in India I was pleasantly surprised to see most men, when walking with another male,to have their arms draped over each other, holding hands, and absolutely no one batted an eye. Duh. Expressions of male affection are so taboo in North America, it's silly. Such subconscious (or conscious?) homophobia. I was especially surprised to see in Uruguay, in what I always thought of as macho Latin America through and through, to see guys friends kiss each other hello and goodbye. Wowzers were my cultural assumptions questioned then (but they'd say that they are not like other latinos, what with their 'European' influence and all...but that's a whole other can of worms!)! Anyway, this is such an interesting topic, I could go on, but I'll stop now. Keep 'em coming!
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