Monday, June 20, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Truth in conversation
While taking a bus home from the University of Minnesota the other day I sat next to a young man from France. I remember beginning the typical intellectual conversation that rides home on the dedicated university bus usually provide. However, something was different this time. I noticed my conversation partner drawing me into a debate. I initially tried to find points of agreement, but then I was quickly served with a "but" or "however". I soon realized the nature of interaction would be a polite debate. For the uninitiated, a polite debate is one typical of a cafe in Paris or a coffee shop in Vienna. The conversations are philosophical and challenging. I relished this chance and enjoyed debating the role of the West for the next seven minutes.
Many French people I have met seem to have a more nuanced handle on the art of conversation. I find myself debating more, making connections between various concepts more, and discussing things for their own sake more often with people from France. Perhaps it is due to the salon culture, perhaps it is due to the extended vacations or longer lunches. Something in the French culture places value on conversation, ideas, and the "the world of forms" as Plato would call it. An American may respond to this form of conversation by saying, "Less talk, more action."
In The Geography of Thought Nisbett argues that the West's conversational culture is rooted in Mediterranean and especially Greek geography. Because Greece was a mixing pot of various cultures that developed on the surrounding islands and across the navigable Mediterranean sea, the culture needed to develop a way to explore an acceptable truth across cultures. They did this by separating ideas from identities. This way people from two cultures could disagree with each others ideas, but not resent each others identities.
The result of this geography is still experienced today in my conversation with the gentleman from France. As one who enjoys debate, but who is also sensitive to face saving, I am glad the West developed a way to separate ideas from identities.
Intercultural Tip: If you think you are just chatting, keep in mind that the function of conversation is different in different cultures.
Many French people I have met seem to have a more nuanced handle on the art of conversation. I find myself debating more, making connections between various concepts more, and discussing things for their own sake more often with people from France. Perhaps it is due to the salon culture, perhaps it is due to the extended vacations or longer lunches. Something in the French culture places value on conversation, ideas, and the "the world of forms" as Plato would call it. An American may respond to this form of conversation by saying, "Less talk, more action."
In The Geography of Thought Nisbett argues that the West's conversational culture is rooted in Mediterranean and especially Greek geography. Because Greece was a mixing pot of various cultures that developed on the surrounding islands and across the navigable Mediterranean sea, the culture needed to develop a way to explore an acceptable truth across cultures. They did this by separating ideas from identities. This way people from two cultures could disagree with each others ideas, but not resent each others identities.
The result of this geography is still experienced today in my conversation with the gentleman from France. As one who enjoys debate, but who is also sensitive to face saving, I am glad the West developed a way to separate ideas from identities.
Intercultural Tip: If you think you are just chatting, keep in mind that the function of conversation is different in different cultures.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
How to make failure cheap or How you know a bad deal
While working with entrepreneurs, I notice they develop an ability to make failure cheap. This idea is fleshed out by Scott Anthony a bit. Essentially it is ability to design a system so that if and when failure occurs it does not cost very much.
I naturally apply this method when traveling. When I went to India, it had been nearly a year since I had experience negotiating cross culturally. My negotiation skills were fairly weak and knew I needed to get the bad deals out of the way in a hurry. So I sought out some inexpensive items to being with and negotiate away.
The first deal was for these furry slippers that would be perfect for my dad. I casually look at them then begin to negotiate. I hit all the points of the deal.
1. Interjecting deal talk with relationship talk. I learned the young man was from Kashmir.
2. Grouping items, so that you have multiple elements within the negotiation. I added another pair of slippers and a hat. I would add volume and drop price, then drop volume and and keep price.
3. Force the deal. I put the money I was willing to pay in his hand.
Once I finished the deal and the Kashmiri guy accepted the money. He started packing my items in a nice bag. This was a bad sign. If you strike a really good deal, the vendor will just take your money and let you walk away with the items without a bag. By his courteous bagging of my items, I figured I payed about 15% too much.
After the slippers were bagged, the guy told me that if I was ever around I should enjoy tea with him. This was a further indicated that I paid too much. He was really happy with the outcome of the deal. After this invitation, I suspect I paid about 20% over what more savvy bargainers pay.
Then he said something I will never forget, "you are my friend. No, my brother. You are my brother." He probably said this because he will use what I paid for a down payment on his dowry. I must have really gotten taken.
It turns out that I had forgotten to walk away at least twice. I had also forgotten to bargain in earlier in the day, as I have more time to shop around. I was rusty. I am glad I got this deal out of way for inexpensive slippers.
I naturally apply this method when traveling. When I went to India, it had been nearly a year since I had experience negotiating cross culturally. My negotiation skills were fairly weak and knew I needed to get the bad deals out of the way in a hurry. So I sought out some inexpensive items to being with and negotiate away.
The first deal was for these furry slippers that would be perfect for my dad. I casually look at them then begin to negotiate. I hit all the points of the deal.
1. Interjecting deal talk with relationship talk. I learned the young man was from Kashmir.
2. Grouping items, so that you have multiple elements within the negotiation. I added another pair of slippers and a hat. I would add volume and drop price, then drop volume and and keep price.
3. Force the deal. I put the money I was willing to pay in his hand.
Once I finished the deal and the Kashmiri guy accepted the money. He started packing my items in a nice bag. This was a bad sign. If you strike a really good deal, the vendor will just take your money and let you walk away with the items without a bag. By his courteous bagging of my items, I figured I payed about 15% too much.
After the slippers were bagged, the guy told me that if I was ever around I should enjoy tea with him. This was a further indicated that I paid too much. He was really happy with the outcome of the deal. After this invitation, I suspect I paid about 20% over what more savvy bargainers pay.
Then he said something I will never forget, "you are my friend. No, my brother. You are my brother." He probably said this because he will use what I paid for a down payment on his dowry. I must have really gotten taken.
It turns out that I had forgotten to walk away at least twice. I had also forgotten to bargain in earlier in the day, as I have more time to shop around. I was rusty. I am glad I got this deal out of way for inexpensive slippers.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Which of these things are not like the other
Monday, May 23, 2011
American Negotiation
One thing traveling in a developing country does to you is develop your sense of what is possible. As I mentioned in previous blogs, everything is negotiable. This realization of the possibility sticks with me weeks after I return. Little did the agent at the rental car agency know.
I got this call on the phone asking if I had received the packet of information regarding damage to the rental car I had recently rented in Denver. I mentioned that I did not and it turns out that they had sent it to the wrong address. I rented that car several weeks ago, but I remember my interaction at the return station. The car check in person noticed a small indentation in the hood of my car and mentioned I would be getting a phone call. I didn't respond at the time because I was focused on catching a flight. But, here was the call, several weeks later and I was ready.
Because you Intercultural Adventurers know from the post
that all things are negotiable, I will structure this post similarly.
Indian Step One: Order Chai.
In India, I ordered chai for various reasons. But this tactic was not available. I wanted the same effect, so I modified. I ordered the agent to send the packet to me overnight.
This does two things
First, it enriches the power dynamic. He may be able to order me to pay for damages, but I can still order that he send the packet to the correct address.
Second, I am acknowledging the culture of an agent in a call center. Having worked in a call center myself as a kid, I remember that following the process was all I was allowed to do. I could do something extra, such as overnight a package, if it was contributing to the process.
Indian Step Two: Interrupted for advice.
Again, I needed to modify this for the more direct culture. I asked the agent if he was from Denver.
My intent with this question was as follows.
First, it subtlety establishes the fact that he was no where near the event and does not know the details of the car, the agency or the employees in question.
Second, it gives the negotiation time to breathe. It lets the agent know that this will not be a pro forma interaction.
Third. When one asks questions, they are establishing a power dynamics. Think of cop movies, "We are the ones asking the questions here."
American Step: Debate.
This is something I learned not to do in most other countries. In the rest of the world, deals happen because of relationships between individuals, not the salience of points won in honest non-personal debate, matter. But with this agent, I was on my home turf.
First attack the subject of the matter: "I disagree with the allegation that there is damage. While I did notice something on the hood of the car after the check in person pointed it out. It was invisible in most light conditions, and I had to bend over to see what the person talking about."
Second attack the process: "Furthermore I disagree that the way in which I was held liable for damage to the vehicle. When I rented out the car, the sales agent held report where I should have been able to indicate previous damage to the car. On top of that the sales agent quickly walked me around the car. Had I been given the report or given the time to fully inspect the vehicle, I may have noticed the small indentation on the hood.
Third, feign insult while demanding credibility. "I didn't jump on the hood or park my car under trees with falling branches. Furthermore, I would not wipe off the evidence such as marks or scratches on the car if that were the case. I would own up to it. I don't even know what caused this indentation"
Indian Step Three: Flatter
While flattery in America will not get you as far as in other countries, face saving is still something to consider. After all, if I were to get this guy angry, he could come after me as a matter of spite. After all, he has nothing vested in the entire case. "I know you are just doing your job and you don't make the rules. But damage was there before I rented the car and the process for determining that I am liable is weak. You can't control these things. " On top of this, I wanted to give him a way to take the high road, or at least tell his boss that he took the high road. "This is my first rental car experience with your company. I have many years left in my rental car life. I am going to rent a car in the future, so I don't know that, from a business perspective this is really worth it. Anyway send the paperwork my way and we will see what happens."
I got a call 20 minutes later
"We determined the damage to the vehicle to be pre-existing."
Intercultural Tip: Your experience in other cultures are not locked there. Integrate what works.
I got this call on the phone asking if I had received the packet of information regarding damage to the rental car I had recently rented in Denver. I mentioned that I did not and it turns out that they had sent it to the wrong address. I rented that car several weeks ago, but I remember my interaction at the return station. The car check in person noticed a small indentation in the hood of my car and mentioned I would be getting a phone call. I didn't respond at the time because I was focused on catching a flight. But, here was the call, several weeks later and I was ready.
Because you Intercultural Adventurers know from the post
Negotiation in a land where "Nothing is available, but everything is possible"
that all things are negotiable, I will structure this post similarly.
Indian Step One: Order Chai.
In India, I ordered chai for various reasons. But this tactic was not available. I wanted the same effect, so I modified. I ordered the agent to send the packet to me overnight.
This does two things
First, it enriches the power dynamic. He may be able to order me to pay for damages, but I can still order that he send the packet to the correct address.
Second, I am acknowledging the culture of an agent in a call center. Having worked in a call center myself as a kid, I remember that following the process was all I was allowed to do. I could do something extra, such as overnight a package, if it was contributing to the process.
Indian Step Two: Interrupted for advice.
Again, I needed to modify this for the more direct culture. I asked the agent if he was from Denver.
My intent with this question was as follows.
First, it subtlety establishes the fact that he was no where near the event and does not know the details of the car, the agency or the employees in question.
Second, it gives the negotiation time to breathe. It lets the agent know that this will not be a pro forma interaction.
Third. When one asks questions, they are establishing a power dynamics. Think of cop movies, "We are the ones asking the questions here."
American Step: Debate.
This is something I learned not to do in most other countries. In the rest of the world, deals happen because of relationships between individuals, not the salience of points won in honest non-personal debate, matter. But with this agent, I was on my home turf.
First attack the subject of the matter: "I disagree with the allegation that there is damage. While I did notice something on the hood of the car after the check in person pointed it out. It was invisible in most light conditions, and I had to bend over to see what the person talking about."
Second attack the process: "Furthermore I disagree that the way in which I was held liable for damage to the vehicle. When I rented out the car, the sales agent held report where I should have been able to indicate previous damage to the car. On top of that the sales agent quickly walked me around the car. Had I been given the report or given the time to fully inspect the vehicle, I may have noticed the small indentation on the hood.
Third, feign insult while demanding credibility. "I didn't jump on the hood or park my car under trees with falling branches. Furthermore, I would not wipe off the evidence such as marks or scratches on the car if that were the case. I would own up to it. I don't even know what caused this indentation"
Indian Step Three: Flatter
While flattery in America will not get you as far as in other countries, face saving is still something to consider. After all, if I were to get this guy angry, he could come after me as a matter of spite. After all, he has nothing vested in the entire case. "I know you are just doing your job and you don't make the rules. But damage was there before I rented the car and the process for determining that I am liable is weak. You can't control these things. " On top of this, I wanted to give him a way to take the high road, or at least tell his boss that he took the high road. "This is my first rental car experience with your company. I have many years left in my rental car life. I am going to rent a car in the future, so I don't know that, from a business perspective this is really worth it. Anyway send the paperwork my way and we will see what happens."
I got a call 20 minutes later
"We determined the damage to the vehicle to be pre-existing."
Intercultural Tip: Your experience in other cultures are not locked there. Integrate what works.
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